Planning on getting married and you got stuck ordering the superflous egregious and all other big long words that done work cake? Screw that noise. You don’t even like cake. You like ice cream cakes if anything, and you’d rather it be spiked. In fact, you’d rather just drink. Sh*t, you’re getting married for god’s sake. I should hope you’re drunk, and so should you.
So how are you planning on saving a couple extra pennies to make sure you got the moolah to get yourself good and wasted before you’re dancing with your aunt Helen?
Rent a fake cake!
a new Grandville business allows couples to rent decorated Styrofoam wedding cakes for less than half the cost of the same cake made from scratch.
“They’re covered in exactly what a real cake would be covered in — fondant and gum paste,” said Kimberly Aya, owner of Fun Cakes, 2880 Remico St. SW. “The only difference is the inside. Nobody can tell.”
According to the article, there’s cake-renting shacks in New York and Canada. Give em a call and save yourself the hassle of trying to cut a crappy piece of lard and shove it in your fiancee’s face. Instead, drink that bottle of liquor you were able to save up for. Your fiancee will look better after that then with frosting up their nose.