Don’t think it’s possible to shotgun a beer bottle? Think again.
Let the video load, watch the beginning then skip to the end to avoid the nonsensical ramblings by the n00b on the left.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT_UI1wi5no[/youtube]
Kudos to the guys at jetdrytacos.com who got this done.
We all get roped into house-sitting for moms and pops sometimes. Liggity LAME-OOOOO. So the obvious recourse is to toss an end-of-days barn-burner.
The bummer is, if you set fire to the house, they might kick you out of the will. So how to you get away with dipping their toothbrushes in the toilet and cleaning the stains on the carpet?
Follow the steps over at wiki-how:
1. Find out when your parents are leaving and how long they will be gone.
2. Gather a group of friends to help you remove valuables that may get broken during the event. Store them in a safe place, and remember or record where all of them go. Many people will notice if something they see every day is even slightly out of place.
3. To prevent the party from being busted by the police, leave exterior lights off, draw all the blinds in the house and instruct attendees to park cars far away, such as at a nearby parking lot or on an adjacent street.
And here’s my favorite:
Phones with a GPS feature can often be monitored remotely, either via the Internet or another phone of the same brand. This requires the phone being monitored to have a privacy setting changed to automatically accept this from a specific phone (consult your owner’s manual!)
A sheet of paper?!?! A piece of good ol’ American printer paper!?!?!? Not cardboard? Not posterboard?
That’s right kiddies. Next time you’re stuck in the computer lab without a bottle opener, fret not. After you’re done printing off the answers for your midterm, fold that crap up a bunch of times and pop the top of your favorite beer.
Note: If the beer bottle is a twist-off, stop trying to be cool and just twist it off. Save this trick for real drinkers.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kD8dO8ZuRw[/youtube]
Kudos to YouTube uploader shederector.
It’s almost impossible these days to actually end up on a deserted island. But what isn’t far from the norm is ending up in an empty bar with a low bars on the cell phone.
It’s Wednesday, and you’re trying to build your tolerance before this weekend’s bash. But lo and behold, you’ve arrived in no man’s land. IT’S WEDNESDAY!!1!one1
C’mon, Drinky McDrinkster. Of course no one is at the bar. The dream team ain’t coming.
Now you have enough juice on your Nokia to call one person, who’s it going to be?
Here’s a few options:
1. Your mom. Every mother wants to spend a little extra time with their offspring. If you’re lucky, you’ve made it to an Irish bar and everyone is drunk so you won’t stand out when you spit up the fish and chips.
2. Barack Obama. Looking to score some liberal hottie with the pickins’ are skimpy. Give Barack a call, just make sure you’re packing a razor.
3. Simon Crowell. Get free drinks thrown in your face all night with this guy. If nothing else, that man just paid like $10M in taxes last year. You know he has money – shank him and leave him with the bill.
4. The guy who did the voiceovers on ‘The Wonder Years’. Not Fred Savage. I’m talking about the guy who let us know Freddie’s innermost secrets. Let this guy tell the world what you’re thinking as you wallow in self-pity at the lack of friends you have.
5. That new girl from the Victoria’s Secret Wings commercials. Anyone got her number? Cot damn she’s hot.
6. Your AA buddy. Really, you both can admit you’re not giving up drinking. You’re at the damn bar. Slam a few bottles of Jack, then take pictures of your crotch and send them to your ex.
Got any better ideas?
Not enough fruit in your diet? Is that why you’re always drinking the Fru-Fru drinks. good god Billy, act like a man.
If you have to drink Fru-Fru, here’s something that won’t break the bank and will tickle your tastebuds.
Try the “Cheap Date,” a drink that scored a 9.3 out of 10 on DrinkNation.com.
Ingredients= Vodka, Cranberry juice, Grenadine and orange juice.
They have it all measured out, but I know it doesn’t matter to you because you most likely only have vodka and orange juice. That’s why this drink is best made at your parents house. They probably have this crap in the pantry.
If you’re going to go out and buy that stuff, keep it in your budget.
I wouldn’t go all top shelf like they suggest. Veer away from the Absolut citron. You can hook it up with Schmirnoff lemon twist or whatever or just go to the half-gallon of Five o’clock and squirt some lemon juice into it.
Grenadine is mere pennies, so snatch up a bottle. You can get more use out of it during Halloween time when you squirt it on little kids coming to your door.
“That’s blood, kid! I bottled it from your dog”
They love it when you tell them that. I mean, it’s Halloween, why not?
Total cost: around $15
Race car drivers have their hunnies waiting at the finish lines, pro basketball players have their actress gfs waving rocks on the sidelines. But what about getting ladies more involved with the sports that really matter.
We’re talking quarters here. And although it has been paraded as a solo-sport, the time to use the help of the hotties has come.
Before you’re challenged to a game of Couples Quarters, get some ideas from this kid and his gf.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k37oyAQ7Atw&mode=related&search=[/youtube]
Kudos to YouTube uploader drxblog.
Not enough impressive quarters shots? Check out this video:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSglNe5q4LE[/youtube]
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