Party Noob

Planning on getting married and you got stuck ordering the superflous egregious and all other big long words that done work cake? Screw that noise. You don’t even like cake. You like ice cream cakes if anything, and you’d rather it be spiked. In fact, you’d rather just drink. Sh*t, you’re getting married for god’s sake. I should hope you’re drunk, and so should you.

So how are you planning on saving a couple extra pennies to make sure you got the moolah to get yourself good and wasted before you’re dancing with your aunt Helen?

Rent a fake cake!

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If you got blood on the floor, you’ve learned how to throw a miggity mackdown party – and you also learned that just because the guys at the renaissance festival can juggle knives, that doesn’t mean you can.

Now that the fun has ended, let’s try to save your security deposit.

First learn the rules:
1. Always use cold water, never hot. Hot may make the stain set for life.
2. Always blot, never rub. Rubbing can lead to spreading the stain.
3. Try multiple techniques.

Now, here’s seven methods to get blood stains out of the carpet:

1. MEAT TENDERIZER – Great for the BBQ enthusiast. Dump some powder tenderizer and cold water on the stains. After 20 minutes, use a cold wet sponge to lift the red. via allabouthome.com

2. SPIT AND RUB – I think just about everyone has tried this one. Apparently saliva has some kind of special power to get out blood stains.

3. HYDROGEN PEROXIDE – pour some hydrogen peroxide on the stain, wait 15 minutes, then rinse it off with cold water. via wikihow

4. MURPHEY’S OIL SOAP – Not just for hard floors. Try it out on the carpet.

5. CLUB SODA & SALT – Soak the carpet with soda then drop a clump of table salt over the stain. We’re talking lots of salt. After 20 mins, try and wipe it out. via gardenweb

6. CORNMEAL AND VACUUM – Other crap not working? wet the carpet again with cold water, then pour some cornmeal over the stain. Let the cornmeal completely dry (which may take a day) and then vacuum it up. via answerbag

7. CLUMPY CONCOCTION – This one seems tough to get together, but if you got the ingredients, looks like it might be mom’s best recipe: cornstarch, cornmeal and talcum powder. Make a paste out of it, put it on the stain and let it dry. You should be able to brush it off after that. via everything2

WARNINGS:
1. NEVER EVER EVER EVER use WARM or HOT water to clean. Says wikihow: The stain will set forever.

2. Continued use of hydrogen peroxide weakens/thins fabric.

3. Petroleum-based soaps (like liquid dish soaps) can be hazardous. Use at your own risk, but not suggested.

Got any other suggestions? What’s your trick?

Ever wondered that if you were born a drinking game, what would you look like? How would you be played? Who would play you and would they be naked?

We have! and obviously there’s quite a few people with the same affliction.

After taking a highly logical and psychiatrist-endorsed online super miracle happy quiz, we found out that party noob is TIP CUP!

That game is for girls, but we love girls so let’s party like a rock star, totally dude. Take the quiz your own damn self and tell us if you got something better.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned through our party days, it’s that Canadians can drink.

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that a Canuck at drinksite.com brings us a game called bowl until you’re drunk.

To win this drinking game, you need lots of booze and six two litter bottles and a ball of some sort.

fill up the two liter bottles with some water so they will stand up. Arrange them in a pyramid shape and then walk back and grab your ball.

Bowl your ball toward your makeshift pins. The number of pins you knock over is the number you get to drink. Sticking with the name of the game, bowl until your good and pissed.

Holy crap, going to jail is so hott!!11! Let’s throw a party!

After a judge sent Paris Hilton back to jail for 45 days for violating probation, we got to thinking, how can we get to drinking?

Then we found this song – booyah. Here’s the jist: make yourself some Paris Hilton Jailbird Fix, play the youtube video below and every time the song says “paris hilton” it’s time to drink.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaRL1Z5YLYs&mode=related&search=[/youtube]